Friday, August 17, 2007

Elephant porn! Lesbian chic bestiality!!!


No,no, this headline hasn't been written entirely to lure you, yes you the pervert trawling the internet for gross content; onto this very demure and prudish blog with the sole purpose to increase our traffic stats.
We are Frenchy, yes, but chic!

As with every elegant word under the sun voyeur is a French word and as an art world watcher (see? you're getting so good at translation) I certainly spend a fair share of my time doing this very activity. It's almost second nature really, even when I go on vacation and spend some time Upstate NY, engaged in country activities [but always in very ladylike style. Think "Green Acres": I'm Gabor reincarnate. I wear Chanel sunglasses, Avene 50 SPF sunblock and travel with an extensive collection of assorted hats and gloves AND a vintage Hermès scarf. And I'm not even mentioning the shoes].

So when my friends, my beloved godson and I went to the "Sunshine" Cobleskill County Fair I automatically indulged in people-watching, mullet-counting, farm animals worshiping and fried food tasting. I've made very interesting discoveries: foot-long Italian sausages, ice-cream sundaes served by the bushel, fried blooming onions, I saw some middle-age "Irish cogglers" practicing a sort of very stiff hieratic dancing in yellow John Waters-inspired dresses. Ethnologically speaking I was in heavens, even though we missed the tractor driving contest and the demolition derby (they even had a minivan demo derby!). I got to see the chainsaw sculpture demonstration, that was cool too.


There was also a circus and we spotted a couple of elephants in a small enclosure. Yes, I know, it is evil and cruel to have elephants in circuses and I deplore their loss of freedom as much as the next PC person.
But my godson is only 4 years old and he is also the one and only unattached male person to have told me he loves me in, like, 3 years, so I wasn't going to lecture him on the animals plight, thank you very much.
So here we are, Elias, his parents and I watching this female elephant who's standing in profile in front of us. Suddenly Elias' mom and I spotted this very BIG thing coming from the other elephant and lazily poking at elephant #1's vagina.
I was thinking, wow, interesting, this is really, really big when I realized it was the other elephant's trunk! We were witnessing an elephant giving oral sex - or is it nasal sex? it is a bit perplexing - to the other!
How awesome is that? Traveling to Upstate NYC to see such a wonder of nature! Plus, we were unsure of elephant #2's gender, so there may even be the possibility that what we were witnessing was in fact lesbian elephant nasal sex!
So exciting! Growing up reading Babar like all French kids, it never occurred to me I was one day to see the King of the elephant fornicating gently with Celeste. Or maybe it was Babar'sister? Un éléphant ça trompe énormément!

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